I figured since I have a little bit of time to kill I would update my blog.  I haven't really been feeling much like writing the last few weeks since I got back from Europe.  At first I was struggling with getting back into the swing of things with work and life, then it seems that my life got complicated on me.  So for the last few weeks i have been trying to get through the days.  But I have tomorrow off and so I have spent the evening relaxing and working on my photo album, which has been a lot of fun.  It has meant reading through my journal and reliving a lot of really great memories from the trip.  It has also meant I had a good excuse to play in my history books looking up different things to add to my info pages that I put in with my photos.  It has been nice just to focus on something that makes me feel happy instead of worrying about things I can't control.

 

Ok I know some of you are now wondering what has been going on.  So the short version is that I have been fighting with a close friend, to the point I think the friendship may be over.  I have also been getting frustrated at work with the amount I seem to have to do as compared to other people.  Oh and I was in my first official car accident.  Added to that it has been pretty warm which means sleeping is a bit more of a challenge, which of course means I'm both more emotional and more cranky.  The good news is I think work is settling down, well as much as that place ever settles down and with the friendship...well that is a bit trickier but either it will work out or it won't.  I'm limited in how much I can do or say in the matter.  In terms of the car accident it was nothing serious.  Hardly any damage to either car but it has left me pissed off because although it was not my fault I'm getting blamed.  I was changing lanes and she ran a red and ended up hitting me as I tried to swerve back to avoid her.  She admitted to running the red to me but of course will not admit it to her insurance company or anything else so it becomes my fault because I was changing lanes.  Not at all happy about this but at least it was not major.  In fact you can hardly tell my car was hit at all.

 

In good news I get to go to Lethbridge this weekend to visit friends.  There is nothing like a little road trip to pick up my spirits.  I know I will spend the weekend laughing so should come back relaxed and ready to battle again for a few more weeks.  The other cool thing is I have had a few more emails from some of the friends I met in Europe, so that has been pretty cool to.  It's so much fun talking with them.  New experiences I guess and I can share all my favourite stories cause they haven't heard them yet.  Hehe.

 

Well anyway I hope you all have a great Canada Day.  Yah for a 141 years...seems so little compared to Europe.  LOL  Oh well one day we will be just as old...Of course then Europe will still be older.  Take care and talk at you all soon.

 

 

Hello All :-)  Well I'm home safe and sound.  I have of course been home for a week and a bit but have been a bit busy with work and getting myself readjusted to reality again.  I have been busy getting my photo album together and have been finding myself really missing Europe.  I had such a good time on the trip that even when I look at my pictures I get this warm fuzzy happy feeling.  I will say there are a few things that I'm glad to be able to do again, like drive my car with my music turned up and even cook dinner again.  I have already started thinking about my next trip though...hehehe.  The company I did my tour with this time Ledger, does a Russian trip for 16 days and I'm really thinking I"m going to do it.  Either that or they do another 16 day one that is called Fire and Ice that looks pretty cool as well.  Reality is though another trip is out of the question probably at least until 2010 especially if I still do Las Vegas for my 30th next year.  A true sign of how much I'm thinking about Europe is that the thought of cancelling my Vegas trip has even crossed my mind.  I of course won't do that because I know it's going to be a really good trip and a great way to celebrate my birthday, hopefully with a bunch of friends.  But now that I have done a big trip again I'm craving more.  I got to see my brother's photos from Southeast Asia yesterday and they were amazing.  There is so much in this world that I want to see, I just need to find a way to do it.  I was in such a mood for travelling, this weekend I was even trying to think of ways I could go over to Europe and be a tour guide or something.  LOL.  It was just one of those random thoughts that you get once and awhile.  Who knows maybe one day I'll win the lottery and then I can do whatever I want for awhile.  Or maybe I'll get one of my stories/novels done and become the next JK Rowling...LOL  Anyway I just wanted to let you all know I am safe and sound.  Talk at you all again soon.

Hello All...the time has finally come and the vacation is ending.  My cab is ordered for the morning and all that is left is to pack.  I figured I would kill a little bit of time and write one last blog entry.  Today was a pretty good day.  I went for a tour that gave us a ride on the Danuabe through some very beautiful country.  It reminded me of the Rhine cruise I did with the coach tour but it was more beautiful.  The hills and vineyards everywhere it was amazing.  I will put up some photos tomorrow or the next day once I get home and settled in again.  After the boat ride we went to this abbey in Melk.  It's still a working monestary and it was very beautiful.  Luckily I was able to take photos so i will put some of them up as well.  They had this library that made me drool.  Apparently they have over 100000 books some dating back to the 9th century.  The walls were lined with bookcases it would have been the perfect room to curl up in and do some writing but alas that's hard to do in a tour group in a tourist stop.  LOL  I loved it though.  Just the smell of the room was wonderful.  God can you tell I love books and what I geek I am :-)  I probably have more pics of that room than anywhere else on the tour.  hehe  The weather was even pretty good although we did get some rain but while we were waiting to go into the abbey so we were able to be sheltered.  I couldn't have asked for a better last day in Austria.  Even though most the shops are closed because of it being Sunday some of the stuff around the main area where the bus dropped us off was still open which meant to end my great day I was able to have one last frankfurter.  They make amazing hot dogs over here...LOL and by hot dogs they are really more like smokeys but they push them right inside the bun with the ketchup and mustard.  I am going to miss them because there is no way any of our smokies can ever taste as good as the ones over here.

 

All and all I think this was a great trip.  I got to see and do a lot of things that I never thought I ever would.  I got to bring history to life in a way that books never could.  I got to make new friends and see some really amazing places.  It's hard to believe how much I really have done.  When I flip through my journal even I'm impressed and I lived it.  LOL  Of course I'm sure it would have been possible to do more as it usually always is but I'm really happy with the trip.  I'll have to think a bit on what my favourites were.  I do know that one of the major highlights as hard as it was to do was going to Auschwitz and Auschwitz-Birkeneau.  The pictures and memories I have from there have made all the stuff I have read that much more real and although I didn't think possible more horrific.  I'm also glad to have had the opportunity to go to so many memorials, especially Juno Beach.  It's good to know that I can pay my respects to the many people that fought for us.  Of course not all my memories will be war related but they tend to stand out a bit more in my head.  I think the beauty of Vienna especially in the Wachau region (which is where I was today on the cruise) will stand out for a long time.  Of course then there were the people I met...especially from the tour group of course because I actually go to know them but also some of the other people who have been very nice to me along this trip.  People like my tour guides Julian and Robert, or the random guy that helped me on the way to Bon Jovi concert.  It really was a great trip.  I am very much looking forward to getting my pictures developed and putting them into a photo album as well as starting a scrap book.  Even more than that I'm also looking forward to reading some more history stuff from things that Richard my coach tour guide mentioned that I didn't know about.  What can I say I'm a geek at heart and stuff like that will always make me excited. 

 

Well anyway for now I should run and think about packing.  I hope you have all enjoyed reading my blog entries while on vacation.  There will probably be a couple more to wrap everything up...well at least one more.  I look forward to sharing with you all the many stories and the many pictures because believe me when i say that what I have online here is only the tip of the iceberg to what I took.  Oh and speaking of pics I will put some of the ones up from today when I get home.  Well good bye from Europe.  Next time i write I will be back on Canadian soil.  Talk at you all soon.

Hello All :-)  This is likely the last entry I will be writing in Europe.  Only really 1 full day left before I head home :-(  As ready as I am to be able to sleep in my own bed, wash my clothes in a washing machine and be able to eat fruit and salads until I'm sick I don't want to leave Europe.  I know I have written several times how ready I am to come home, but now that it's here well as it goes I don't want to.  hehe

 

Austria is as beautiful as I thought it would be.  It reminds me of the best parts of BC and Alberta from back home.  It has been a bit rainy but it's hasn't been horrible and certainly hasn't gotten in the way of anything that I have done so far.  In fact today was a very beautiful sunny day.  Yesterday although it started raining by the time we got to Salzburg it had stopped and was very nice to wander around the quaint little tourist town.  I was very impressed with Salzburg.  I think it is my favourite town of the trip...well it's a close race between it and Celle (a medieval town we stopped at while I was on my coach tour).  It was a busy little town, very touristy.  The people however were all very nice.  They all spoke English very well which of course helped a lot especially when it came time for me to get some lunch.  Who would have thought there was so many types of sausages, although found a yummy one with cheese inside :-)  The one thing that I noticed in Salzburg and today in Vienna is that everything is set up for the Euro Cup which starts today.  It is being hosted by Austria and Switzerland so there are football (soccer) fans everywhere.  I think the best part about Salzburg for me was the sound of the place at noon and then again at 3pm when all the church bells rang to signal the time.  Now normally you think ok you can here one or two bells but no in Salzburg everywhere you look is a different church which means lots of bells and lots of different sounds.  It was beautiful. 

 

I toured around Vienna today and it was very pretty as well.  It's a city though much like all the other ones I have been to on this trip.  I do love European cities because they look cool but after Salzburg it just couldn't seem to hold a candle to it.  The people in Vienna aren't quite as friendly and don't seem to appreciate tourists the same way they did in Salzburg, but then again it's a big city so that always seems to carry with it a little bit of a challenge to find friendly people.  After the morning tour I walked around the city some and got my first blister of the trip.  I guess I shouldn't have worn my sandals today but it's been so warm it was good to have my feet free.  And really I can't complain since my trip is almost done it's not like a blister will bother me to much now.

 

Anyway this is feelign a bit disjointed today so I'm going to sign off for now.  I think I'm tired...LOL or hungry...maybe both.  I will likely not write again until I'm home, which is in a couple of days.  I will sum up my trip then and let you know how the Danuabe tour was as that is what I'm doing tomorrow.  Talk at you all soon.

Well I'm finally in Vienna and it was a long couple of days.  I learned a little about myself though.  I am not really a very good solo traveller.  As much as I want to be a world traveller I think I will be doing it through things like my Ledger holiday.  The reason I have decided this is because when I'm tired which is almost always when you travel and things don't go right it seems to me like the end of the world.  At least doing a tour group type of trip there are people to solve the problems for you.  I should explain about 2 or so hour ago I was ready to give up and go to the airport and go home.  I really didn't want to go home but I was lost on the streets of Vienna (and really now after relaxing a little I wasn't even lost just mistaken), tired after having not slept very well on the over night train and it was raining, which I don't like at the best of times.  None of it would have really been that bad had I not been tired but it really does effect me.  I'm glad that I got to an experience an overnight train but I sure don't like them much.  Between the stopping and starting and the shifting of the train I had a hard time sleeping.  It was also weird to have 4 other strangers sleeping in close proximity.  So after my train ride I get to Vienna and hang around the station for awhile since it's raining quite hard and still to early to check in to my hotel.  I grabbed some food and people watched for a bit.  Then I go to get a cab and he tells me to just walk in one direction for like 2 mins.  Well unfortunatly because he didn't speak much English he had me going right instead of left and what should have been a two minute walk turned out to be a bit more.  After walking for a bit I found another hotel so I popped in to get directions and she showed me on a map where I had to go.  Right back the way I came past the train station and literally like two minutes away from where I had been.  At this point I'm now really tired, cranky, sweaty and just ready to quit.  Luckily the hotel was able to get me into my room right away so I was able to have a little bit of a nap.  I'm now happy and ready to see Vienna although I am going to take it easy tonight and stick close to the hotel.  I have booked myself on some tours though so I actually get to see a bunch of stuff.  Tomorrow I'm heading to Salzburg which is supposed to be a very pretty city.  It's the birthplace of Mozart and has something to do with the Sound of Music.  On Saturday I will be doing a city tour.  I get picked up at my hotel and dropped off somewhere likely by the opera house which makes it easy for me to do some exploring on my own after.  Then Sunday I am doing another all day tour that will take me on a trip through the Danube Valley along with a boat ride along the Danube.  So for not having anything planned I now have something to do each of my days here which means the trip won't be wasted.  Sure it costs a bit more money but at least I know I will get to make the most of the trip.  I'm actually really looking forward to it.  Then Monday it is off the airport to catch my plane home.  Time flies by in a hurry when you are having fun.  Anyway I will talk at you all again soon. 

Hello All.  First I apologize for any weird spelling mistakes as I'm on a foreign keyboard.  Tonight was amazing.  I got to see Bon Jovi in Frankfurt and it was brillant.  The accoustacts sucked but the atmosphere made up for it.  He still looks just as sexy as he did in Calgary but I think the concert was better.  He played way more songs and did less talking.  I guess that makes sense since he knows he is playing to a mostly German audience.  At least tonight made up for my day.  It started early (5am) with me getting up and ready to catch a train to Frankfurt.  You would think not a big deal, except that the taxi I got managed to get in an accident.  Nothing to serious, no one was hurt just a little damage to the cab and lots of yelling in French that I didn't understand but didn't sound happy.  Luckily because I need to be early for everything I still made my train in time.  So two hours into my train ride an announcement comes on saying the train is having technical difficulties and won't be able to carry on so we have to change trains.  After a little bit of confusion I was on my way again.  The one good thing is although I arrived way before check in time the hotel was able to give me a room which meant I was able to have a nap so I could be bright eyed and bushy tailed for the concert.

 

Anyway this keyboard is driving me nuts so I'm going to sign off for now.  I head to Vienna overnight tomorrow so I will try to do one more blog entry from there before I head home.  Hard to believe I only have one more stop and one more hotel and then I'll be flying home to my own bed.  I don't know how my brother can go away for so long.  I miss everything at home to much.  Talk at you all again soon.

Hello all again.  I'm still in Paris but figured I would write again.  So after spending a day in Paris here are my thoughts on the place. 

 

First it's the city of a million umbrella people.  For those of you who don't know who umbrella people are, they are the tour guides that lead groups of people around everywhere holding up some form of distinguishable umbrella, stick or what have you.  Of course along with the umbrella people come tourists.  Now I can't really say to much about them as I am one myself but damn there are a lot of people over here.  I went to Versailles this morning and it was beautiful, but after five minutes in there I was ready to leave.  It felt like being herded through a maze like a rat or something.  Going to Versailles made me decide to avoid going to the Louvre tomorrow.  I don't want to deal with the crowds to get glimpses of paintings.  I'm not really into art anyway so I don't think missing it will really make me sad.  I did get to see the outside of it and take pictures and stuff.

 

Second thing about the city is it is really not very single people friendly.  Well I shouldn't say that exactly but it will make you realize just how single you are.  I know it's this great beautiful romantic city and I do like it but after tonight at the Moulin Rouge I really wished I was here with someone, even a friend would be better than being alone.  The dinner was amazing as was the show but it just isn't as much fun when you can't share it with someone.  I mean everything from the champagne (which I have now tried for the first time) to the music and couples dancing during dinner, to the pictures they were taking to give to people.  Not to mention the roses that were being sold...I tell you it was a wee bit depressing but then the show started and it didn't matter.  I really enjoyed myself.  The music was great, the costumes were brilliant and the guys were cute ;-)  It was like a Vegas topless show only with more guys which made me happy.  LOL  Actually I was very proud of myself tonight...I ate salmon and lobster, and as you all know I can't stand fish.  It was ok nothing I woul go out of my way to have again especially since I may be allergic to it but I'm glad I tried it.

 

The third and last thing I would like to say about Paris is that the people aren't really as bad as I thought they would be.  I have no trust for strangers mind you but people seem fairly friendly.  And more people speak English than I thought would.  Tomorrow will be the true test though as i'm wandering around on my own after a much needed sleep in, especially since the day after i have to get up at the crack of stupid to get a train to Frankfurt.  Of course Frankfurt means Bon Jovi so that will be good.

 

Anyway enough babble for tonight.  I need sleep.  The champagne I had went straight to my head.  Oh and just on a random side tangent...chocolate crepes are divine.  Talk at you all again soon.

 

PS I'll put up some more pics soon...had to charge the camera battery first.

Hi all,

 

  Ok lest you think I have forgotten about all my faithful readers I haven't.  It has been a busy two weeks with me touring around Europe.  So far my trip has been amazing.  I wasn't sure at first because it was pretty lonely when everyone has someone to talk to but quickly the bus warmed up and people started to invite me to join them for meals and to walk with them and stuff.  The tour itself was amazing.  I learned a lot of new little things that I didn't know about the Holocaust and I gained a whole new perspective for it now that I have visited a bunch of the concentration camps, memorial sites and other important spots.  It makes history come to life in a way it never could from just books alone.  I know that the trip was expensive but I would do it again in a heartbeat.  I not only gainined new knowledge but i also gained new friends or at least the starts of new friendships.  Today was actually a bit of a hard day because of the tour ending.  On one hand I was excited to get to see more stuff but on the other side it was really hard saying goodbye to the people whom I have been sharing so many experiences with over the last 12 days.  I have shared beer, laughs and even some tears with these people and I can't imagine a better group.  Now though I am embarking on the world of exploring on my own.  I shall continue my zig zagging back and forth across Europe.  I still have lots to see and still have a bunch of days left that will fly by way to quickly but it will be a lot quieter.  It does mean i will get more writing down which is good because I'm trying to write a memorial poem to go in my scrapbook for the first part of my tour. 

  It's getting a bit late here and I have to get up early to go out to Normandy tomorrow so I should sign off for now but I will put up some photos for you to look at.  I will try and write again soon.  Talk at you all soon.

I figured I would take a quick break from the manual I'm updating for work to write a blog entry since as usual I'm long over due for a new one.  This weekend has been a really good weekend although I'm extremely tired.  Yesterday I had a bunch of friends over to help me celebrate my birthday.  I want to thank you all for coming over and spending the eveneing with me.  I had a blast and I hope you all did as well.  I think this was one of the best birthdays I have had in awhile.  It was nice to just hang out at home and relax with good friends, especially since some of you I won't see now until I come back from Europe.  As for the rest of my weekend I went and saw this show at Stage West called 70s Fever and it was awesome.  Well worth how tired I feel right now.  As with any theatre I seem to see I found a couple cute guys to watch and the music is of course music I have always loved.  You can't go wrong with a little disco :)

 

In other news since I last wrote I have been able to get all my Europe trip planned.  I have my train tickets and a few tours booked.  The excitement is starting to kick in.  Only ten more working days and I will be free.  The nerves are also starting to kick in a little bit more and I'm more than a little concerned that the first part of my trip where I'm doing the Anne Frank and Oscar Schindler tour might be a bit to much for me.  I'm not really sure what to expect, although everyone that I have talked to that have been to some of the concentration camps or done anything concerning the holocaust have said that it is all very moving.    Aside from that I'm really looking forward to going to Vienna.  I have already fallen in love with the pictures I have seen of Vienna online.  It seems as though it is a really pretty place.  I keep joking that I'm going to stay over there.  I will admit there is some appeal in moving to a different country and starting over, but in reality I have a lot of people I would really miss back here.  It makes me wonder how someone like my nan (who is a warbride from England) could have agreed to marry a man from somewhere so far away.  Talk about brave, I don't think I could ever do it.

 

Oh and a slight snag in my plans for updates while I'm in Europe.  I'm now without a laptop and it is not likely to be back before I leave for Europe so I will be limited to internet cafes and how much time I have.  I will do my best to keep you all updated but pictures will likely have to wait until I am back at home and have a free evening.

 

Well anyway for now I need to get back to work on this manual.  I will talk at you all again soon.

Hello all.  As some of you know I just got home from Red Deer and have some pretty new paw prints on my foot.  As most of you know when I first got the original paw prints around my ankle I had thought that I wanted them down my foot as well.  There was a couple of reasons for not getting it done originally, the first being the I was still at Walmart which meant I had to wear closed toed shoes, and two I was scared of how much it was going to hurt.  So now a year later I'm not at Walmart and so I could get it done.  I was still terrified of how much it was going to hurt but at least I don't have to shove the foot into a proper shoe.  So my brain started to think as it always seems to now as spring approaches, maybe it's time for a new tattoo.  Long story short Janice suggested a place in Red Deer and I decided to give it a shot.  It meant I could visit with Shane at the same time so that's a plus, but as it turns out it also meant that I got a pretty great tattoo.  I'm really impressed with how it turned out.  The tattoo artist, Marshall, not only added the paw prints on my foot but he fixed the ones on my ankle which I had never really liked because they were crappy.  I think that they look pretty good now.

 

 

Ok pretty good might not be the right description.  As you can see from these photos, my foot looks a little crappy right now but it is a fresh tattoo so between the left over ink, the irritated skin and a little bit of swelling it could look better but I think the paw prints themselves look pretty good.  The tattoo itself hurt as much as I thought it would.  I don't know think I will ever likely tattoo the other foot because of how sensitive it was.  The worst ones was the second one from my toe and the one on the ankle bone.  There were a few moments where I almost wanted to scream but I survived.  They are still pretty tender right now and i'm guessing they will be for a couple of days but I think they will look great when they are all healed. 

 

Anyway that's about it for now.  I need to get some stuff done, including my taxes so I should run.  I will talk at you all soon.  Oh and PS Will you have email coming in the next day or so, my internet has been acting up.  Talk at you all soon.

I hope that you all had a great Easter.  Mine was pretty good.  I spent the long weekend down in Lethbridge (Stirling more specifically) visiting with friends and helping one celebrate his 30th birthday.  I, as always, had a blast.  I did spend a little too much time in my head this though, which has left me feeling a little off.  I know I have a few of these blogs where sincerity and my true self come through and I think this will be one of those.

 

I realized upon leaving to head back home that a lot of why I'm feeling so off in general lately is because I'm lonely.  I don't really have a best friend (well at least not one near enough that I can have that immediate sense of closeness), or a boyfriend or even really a family I can talk to.  That never usedt ob other me.  I used to love being on my own and I don't know what changed.  Somewhere along the line I stopped enjoying my own company.  The funny things is I can pretty much out when it happened and I can see the effect it has had on my weight as well.  When I was so busy with working two jobs i lost myself and haven't been able to get back to where I was.  I have forgotten how to do the things I love and sometimes I think I have even forgotten how to smile and laugh.  That is why I love going back down to Lethbridge to visit with my friends there.  When I'm there I can be happy and I smile and just generally feel a part of something.  I mean sure I sometimes feel like the odd one out with the group of friends there but mostly they are great at making me feel a part of everything.  Mostly I just laugh and relax.  I'm able to write and I don't spend my time worrying about my weight.  So my new plan is try to bring what I have down there into my world up here.  Before I started at ACB when things were at there worst at Walmart I tried to make time for myself and I need to do that again.  It's time to get control of my world and make what I have right now ok.  I can't spend my world thinking for the future and I certainly can't live it in the past so for now for now I need to work on  staying in the here and now.  I spend far to much time missing what I have had and thinking that if I do this or that things will be better in the future.  

 

I think the worst part about all of this is I have a couple of pictures of me from this weekend it's not me in them.  I mean there is the weight (which always makes me not like my pictures) but it's more than that.  I'm smling and laughing in the picture.  I need that person to look at me when I look in the mirror at home.  I want to feel like the same carefree person I can be when I'm surrounded by good friends when I'm home and dealing with things like work.  I need to work on just liking the person in the mirror which means I need to be smiling because I know I look way better when I'm smiling, and I also need to work on my weight again.  I can see where I have put the weight back on over the last year and I can't let that go on.  I need to get healthy and as much as i was getting frustrated with writing down everything I eat I have realized I need to go back to that and start being careful again.  I'm only just over a month away from my 29th birthday which means I have a year before 30 and I think if I don't have my world under control by my 30th things are not going to bode well for my mental state on that birthday.  I may not have everything I want by the time I'm 30 and might not be where I used to picture my life but I do know that i need to be in a better spot than I am now.  I can't waste my life.  It is not fair to people like my cousin who lost their lives too early.  I need to accept what I have now and realize it's not that bad.  I need to stop complaining and start actively seeking to change my world.

 

Anyway enough of this blathering, I need to get ready for work.  I will talk at you all again soon.

I have discovered the secret to making me smile...1.5 pitchers of screwdriver, mail man Dan, a great meal, singing, dancing, theatre and cute boys :-)  Now let me explain...tonight I went to Jubilations theatre to see a show based on Desperate Housewives.  I had an amazing time.  The screwdriver was strong...mail man Dan was our waiter.  They put on a great show full of lots of singing and dancing and as always I found a few boys that I could gawk at...including of course mail man Dan.  LOL  As most of you know I love live performances of any kind and this was pretty good.  There were parts that were a little cheesy but I would totally go again.  Any of you who haven't gone should check it out.  The food was pretty good and really it's not a bad way to spend a night.  The only thing that was missing in my evening was a boy to go home with and cuddle.  Oh well perhaps another time.

 

Anyway I need to get to bed.  Tomorrow morning will come way to soon.  I will talk at you all again soon.

...$150 in alcohol.  Ok this may not have been the best solution of the night but seriously after the day I've had who could blame me, besides at least right now I'm so numb I don't feel sad...heck I can't even really feel my fingers.  It has been a incredibly long time since I have felt like this.  I'm so angry right now with my work I don't even know what to do.  My notice is being written up in the morning and I think my two weeks is going in.  I can't do it anymore.  I hate that place worse than even Walmart and most of my friends no how bad walmart is so you can imagine just how bad things are now.  I think I would rather go back to walmart for sucky pay than work another day in that office.  I am done and it's not just the tequilla talking.  Anyway I need sleep.  More soon.

I'm so done.  I hate my job and apparently have become a horrible person, who can't even survive a day without crying.  Even on my worst days when I was being made fun of, picked on and generally harassed at school did I ever feel the way I do right now.  Never have I been in an environment that was so negative that it literally takes any of the self esteem I have built up over the last 10 years and kills it.  Why am i still going to work every day.  Even on my worst days at Walmart I never felt stupid or like a bad person and yet it's how I'm feeling now.  So why am I not walking away.  I don't care anymore that it's a "good" job...at this point I would rather be making no money at Walmart again.  The only redeeming value right now of this job is the fact it's Mon-Friday and you know what I can get that somewhere else.  I seriously want to run head first into a brick wall.  So if any of you have any job leads please let me know...cause I'm starting to apply again.  I can't live the way I'm doing now.

So I think the worst possible thing you can wake up to on a Monday morning when you don't want to get up anyway is to hear that it is -31 outside with a windchill of -49...ewww  I want to stay in bed...it's warm and cozy in there, but no instead I have to go fight traffic with all the stupid drivers that don't know how to drive and go to work.  Boo Hiss.

 

Now in other news last night I went and saw the movie Meet the Spartans.  It's a spoof movie and surprisingly it was quite funny.  I'm never usually sure about those movies but this one was better than my expectations.  I mean you have to keep in mind it is a spoof movie but as long as you like those types of movies I say go for it.  You will laugh.

 

Ok time to get dressed and pray my car starts...oooh maybe if it won't I can stay home.  LOL

Hello All,

 

  So as some of you may know I have a book of quotes that I keep.  I put random quotes I hear or read into it as I find them.  It's things that make me think or laugh or just stand out.  Anyway tonight while I was having my bath I was reading a book called 'Wicked:  The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West' by Gregory Maguire and came across something that made me chuckle and considering the day I had I figured it was worth sharing.  So here you go have a chuckle...and guys I'll apologize now; just remember I didn't write it.

 

  "We only have babies when we're young enough not to know how grim life turns out.  Once we really get the full measure of it--we're slow learners, we women--we dry up in disgust and sensibly halt production.

  But men don'y dry up, Melena objected; they can father to the death.

  Ah, we're slow learners, Nanny countered.  But they can't learn at all."

 

  So there you have it...and written by a man no less.  Anyway I will talk at you all again soon.

I wonder why life can't be as simple as it seems when I'm away with friends for the weekend.  I spent the weekend down in Lethbridge hanging out with friends and having a good time.  As always when I'm down there I laughed a lot, goofed off and just relaxed.  I wish every day left me feeling the way a weekend down there leaves me feeling.  There is nothing like mass amounts of laughter to make you feel completely stress free.  I need to find more of that around in my daily life.  Now that the weekend is done I'm back at work trying to will the day to go by faster so I can go home and nap.  LOL

 

In other news my Europe trip is yet another week closer...only 17 more weeks to wait.  I got my Bon Jovi ticket for Frankfurt, Germany so I'm pretty excited about that.  It was a good concert when he came here so I can imagine it will be just as good when I'm in a foreign country.  It does make me smile to think that I'm going half way around the world to see him though...makes me almost sound like a groupie...hehehe  I have a pretty good idea of the hotel I'm going to stay in London now, I just need to book it.  I have also figured out what I will be doing in France.  I will spend one day going to the dday beaches, one day going to Versailles, one day in the Louvre and then one day wandering around the literary sites and stuff.  But even as I'm writing this I totally think I have written this before so if it was in my previous blog I'm sorry...LOL I have been talking about the trip with so many people, writing about it in my journal, my blog and not to mention in emails to friends that I have completely lost track of what I have written and where.  LOL

 

Well anyway on that note I should take off and enjoy the rest of my lunch.  I will talk at you all again soon.

Hello All,

 

  Sorry to have ignored you for so long.  I know it's been a month again since I updated.  It has been a pretty busy month for me.  First of all I want to wish everyone a very belated but happy new year.  I hope that you all enjoyed the holiday season.  Mine for a change was actually good.  For the first Christmas in a very long time I didn't get any bad news or end up sick or anything of the sort.  I even got fairly decent gifts this year which always helps make things better.  I did have one bad night but luckily a friend was around to talk me down and make me smile again.  (So Shane if you are reading this thank you...also welcome back into my world).  My parents came home just this past week and even that went really well.  We didn't fight at all, which as most of you know is also shocking.  I don't know if it's because I'm melloing or because my dad is or maybe just because with me working I didn't see them that much but things were good.  It was the first visit in a long time that I wished that they weren't leaving so soon. 

 

  In other news things at work are changing yet again.  I tell you as much as things tended to change at Wal-mart it doesn't even come close to the amount of things that seem to flip at ACB.  The good news is that I'm taking over a full time position that will take me out of the mailroom and the fun that comes with sending out all the mailouts, and put me into a position where I"m doing something that I can really get behind and feel good about.  The position is going to be challenging at first because things are quite behind but I work best when I have a lot on my plate so I think this change will actually be good for me....although if I'm wrong and it proves to be not good for me it may be the last step to push me over the edge into quitting.  We shall see how it all pans out but I'm really excited to be learning new things again.  It makes me brain happy :-)  Of course like most things in my world the good news comes following some bad news.  The person that had been doing the full time position is moving to BC and she is 1 of 2 people in my team of people that actually realizes what I'm capable of and who is willing to stand up for me.  She also is one of the closest friends I have made through a work setting ever.  It's going to be a sad few weeks as she tries to pass her knowledge to me and prepares for her move.  Of course the nice thing is where she is moving is at least on the way to my parents place so I should still be able to see her again when I head out to see mom and dad.

 

  Anyway I think that about updates you on almost everything except Europe but not much has changed there.  I have figured out that my four days in France are going to be spent.  I'm going to the D-day beaches one day, Versailles another, bumming around the literary haunts of Paris one day, and then finally spending a day likely at the Louvre.  I'm pretty excited.  It's only 18 weeks away now :-)  I'm hoping that the time flies as quickly as the last year did.  And on that note I shall say good night as it is way past my bedtime.  I will talk at you all again soon.

Wow ok I knew it had been a while since I had blogged but I didn't think it had been nearly a month...hehehe oops.  Oh well i'm back and alive and ready to update all of you ;-)

 

The last little while has been pretty hard for me.  I have not been feeling myself which is why I haven't really written.  Things are work have been getting to me more then they should and of course there is all the Christmas hustle and bustle that has been keeping me busy.  For me this time of year has always been a bit hard because it never fails that something always happens around this time to bring me down so I have to fight that nagging doubt that something is about to happen.  But for the most part this year i'm feeling pretty good about Christmas.  I only have a couple more gifts to get and a whole lot of wrapping to do but I'm almost ready.  So here's to crossing my fingers and hoping that everything goes alright.

 

In other news I'm currently down in Lethbridge which is probably why I feel more normal than I have in a long time.  I ended up with a long weekend this weekend as I took Friday off because I knew I was not going to want to work after the Bon Jovi concert, so decided what better way to spend the weekend then coming and visiting my friends and getting away from Calgary.  It has been a pretty fun weekend.  We have done some Christmas baking and a whole lot of just relaxing and enjoying ourselves.  It's been great.

 

Of course the other cool thing I've done lately is the Bon Jovi concert and let me tell you it was amazing.  I have never had that much fun at a concert before.  He did an absolutely phenomenal job.  My throat was still sore the next day from screaming so much...hehehe.  And let me just say that I knew he was a good looking man but his pictures don't do him justice, he is even better looking in person.  I would definatly try again to see him if he comes back no matter how expensive the tickets are.  He was worth the money.  The cool thing is because he has so much music to work with it was a very full two and a half hours so it totally felt worth the money.  I don't know to have a rockstar life though...I mean it must be absolutely thrilling to be up on stage and have a whole huge audience singing the songs you wrote because they have them memorized or to be cheering and clapping and screaming for you.  It must be such a rush. 

 

Well anyway that about updates everything in my world.  Sorry it took me so long.  I will talk at you all again soon.